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Oh, and the oils—cor, they’re the secret weapon! Some use ylang-ylang, smells like sex and tropics, gets yer head spinnin’. Little story—mate of mine swears he saw Churchill’s ghost after one, reckon the old bulldog loved a cheeky rub. “We shall fight them in the fields,” he’s yellin’, while I’m thinkin’, “Mate, I’m fightin’ to not melt into this table!” Proper laugh, that.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t suck.” But as I’m walking along the coast, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They were having a blast, but then one of them kicked the ball right at me! I mean, come on! I dodged it like a ninja, but still, my heart was racing. I yelled, “Watch it, Messi!” They just laughed. Kids, right?

Coercion and Control: Life Under Russian Occupation