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Got this one time, right? Went to this shady joint—total “fishy” vibe, ha! This chick, she’s workin’ my back, and I’m like, “Holy crap, I’m in the anemone now!” Tension just melts, like butter on a skillet. Fun fact, tho—did ya know erotic-massage goes back to ancient China? Yeah, emperors got it on with fancy oils, livin’ large! Makes me mad nobody told me sooner—I’da been king of this shit!

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, tryin’ to shake off the bird bomb, and I bump into my buddy, Vasyl. He’s all hyped up about some festival at the central square. “Dude, you gotta check it out!” he says. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I mean, who doesn’t love a good festival, right?