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About Kryvyi Rih

So, sex-dating – it’s a right laugh, sometimes a fright. Tinder, Bumble, all them lot. Swipe right, boom, you’re in bed! Or not – sometimes it’s a catfish. Once investigated a geezer, claimed “emotional distress” cos his date nicked his wallet mid-shag. Turned out he met her on some dodgy hook-up site. “Nobody will find out,” she whispered – ha! I did, you plonker! Made me chuckle, but also mad – why so daft, eh?

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After that, I head over to the park by the river. You know, the one near the bridge on Hrushevskoho Street? It’s usually chill, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re all yelling. I’m just trying to enjoy my pastry, and they’re kicking the ball everywhere. One kid kicks it right at me! I dodge it like a ninja, but man, my heart was racing.

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