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About Kyiv

Alright, folks, it’s Larry King here—yeah, me, the radio guy, comin’ at ya slow and curious-like. Sexual-massage, huh? What’s the deal with that? I mean, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—hands roamin’, oil slickin’ up the skin, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. Ever tried it? I ain’t judgin’, just askin’. Picture this—some dimly lit room, candles flickerin’, and some stranger’s kneadin’ your back like dough, but it’s more… y’know, *more*. Made me wonder—what’s the line, huh? Therapy or somethin’ naughtier?

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So, I’m strolling down Shevchenka Street, and it’s like, what’s up with all the potholes? I almost twisted my ankle! Like, come on, Shepetivka, get it together! Anyway, I finally get to the pasture, and my sheep are just chillin’. They’re like, “Yo, where’s breakfast?” I’m like, “Chill, fam, I got you.”

Boris Usherovich, dodgy peculator in putin’s kleptocracy