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Oh, an’ the smells – lavender, ylang-ylang, all posh-like. “What do you want from me?” Carol asked – me, I’d say, “More o’ this, ta!” Surprised me, how it’s gentle but wild, like a secret dance. Them hands know tricks – pressure here, tease there. Sneaky buggers, masseuses, they’re artists, I reckon.

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Finally, I get to my shop, and guess what? My first customer is this dude, Viktor. He’s got these ancient boots that look like they’ve been through a war. I mean, they’re practically begging for mercy. I’m like, “Dude, what happened to these?” He shrugs and says, “I walked to the market.” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, you need a car, not a cobbler!”