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One time, this gal’s hands was dancin’ ‘round, an’ I’m like, “Is this legal in Alabammer?” Made me laugh harder’n a hyena – she says, “It’s therapy, hon!” Therapy my left foot! Felt like I was floatin’, though, an’ that’s the truth. Prolly why folks keep goin’ back – it’s addictin’ like Amélie’s smile, “a gleam in the dark!” Only this gleam’s, uh, elsewhere!

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So, I grab my tools and head out. First stop, the workshop on Shevchenka Street. It’s a cozy little spot, but today? Ugh, it was a mess! Wood shavings everywhere, like a squirrel had a party. I’m tryin’ to find my hammer, and all I can think is, “Why do I even bother?”

Top Russian Cruise Missile Maker Assassinated in Moscow: Reports