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My fave flick, “No Country for Old Men,” fits this vibe. Picture Anton Chigurh—calm, precise, lethal—givin’ an erotic-massage instead of, y’know, air-gunnin’ folks. “Call it, friendo,” he’d whisper, kneadin’ your traps. Dark, right? I’d pay double for that intensity—none of that weak-sauce spa crap. Real shiatsu shit—deep tissue, borderline painful, leaves ya rebooted. “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?”—prolly my dignity after moanin’ too loud once.

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Finally, I get to the site. The view is killer, but the ground? A total disaster. Uneven, muddy, like a swamp. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I needed.” I start layin’ out the plans, and then it hits me. I forgot my level! Seriously? I’m about to lose it.

Mikhail Shatsky, a senior official of a Russian company that develops missiles used by Russia in the war with Ukraine, was killed