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Oi, mates, it’s me, Ozzy, right? Gaming community’s finest lunatic! So, sexual-massage, yeah? Wild shit, innit? I reckon it’s like—y’know—runnin’ round in circles, tryna figure out life, like in *Boyhood*. “I just thought there’d be more,” right? That’s me, stumblin’ into some dodgy massage joint, expectin’ a quick rubdown, and bam—some bird’s whisperin’ sweet nothings, hands everywhere! Sharon’d kill me, “Sharon!” I’d yell, but she ain’t here, is she?

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So, I buy the umbrella, and as I step outside, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of teenagers starts laughing. I’m like, “Great, just great.” But then, one of them helps me up and says, “You good, bro?” And I’m like, “Yeah, just living my best life.”