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I’m all hyped bout it, cos it’s sneaky good. Relaxes ya, sure, but then – bam! – gets the blood pumpin where it counts. Little known fact: in Japan, they got this “nurumassage” thing, slippin n slidin with gel, total freakout! Makes me wanna yell, “Oh, behave!” – but nah, I’m into it. Gets me hot under the collar, no lie. Ever tried it? Feels like heaven, mate, but ya gotta watch out – some places ain’t legit. Pisses me off when creeps ruin it, y’know? “This is not a game,” like Spotlight says – gotta keep it real.

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After that awkwardness, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called the Serednie-Vodiane River Park or something. Super pretty, right? I’m just vibing, listening to my tunes, when I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite!” But I help him out anyway. I’m a nice person, I swear.