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Exaggeratin’ for effect? Once swiped a fitty, thought she’s peng, turns out she’s me cousin—awks! Nearly vommed, fam. Sex-datin’s a minefield, innit? “Love is blind,” Godard reckons—nah, mate, it’s just blurry pics! Still, I’s hooked—fast hookups, no strings, sorted. You tried it, bruv? Spill!

Commencez à tchatter tout de suite!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Haharina Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m all about that fresh vibe. Grabbed some tomatoes, and OMG, they were like the size of my head! I’m not even kidding. But then, this old babushka starts yelling at me. Like, chill, lady! I’m just trying to buy some veggies. Turns out, I accidentally took her basket. Whoops.