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So yeah, it’s a mad, sexy mess. Keeps ya on yer toes—like me, dodgin’ bullets and bedsheets. Try it, mate—just don’t fall for the tarantula trick. Cheers!

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So, I buy the umbrella, and as I step outside, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of teenagers starts laughing. I’m like, “Great, just great.” But then, one of them helps me up and says, “You good, bro?” And I’m like, “Yeah, just living my best life.”