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About Kryvyi Rih

What pisses me off? Liars! Catfishers! “I’m a model”—yeah, a model trainwreck! But when it works, fuck me, it’s brilliant! Met this bird—legs for days, cheeky smile—thought, “I’m in heaven, mate!” She quotes *A.I.*, “I am, I was,” all sexy-like—nearly lost me shit! Hooked up, no strings, pure fun—chef’s kiss! Still, most of ‘em? Clueless twats! “Wanna Netflix and chill?” No, I wanna shag and not fake it, ya prat!

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After that, I decided to walk it off. I head over to the old church on the corner of Kostiantynivska Street. It’s beautiful, but there’s a wedding happening. And let me tell you, weddings in Ukraine are a whole vibe. Everyone’s dressed to the nines, and I’m just in my jeans and a t-shirt. I feel so underdressed. But then, the bride catches my eye and smiles. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t so bad.”