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I’m ramblin’ now—brain’s buzzin’—but Ruby, she’s no cliché, nah. She’s loud, crude—once saw her hock a loogie at a dude who shorted her. Classy, right? Sarcasm’s my jam, so I’m like, “Oh, sure, Ruby, you’re livin’ the dream!” She’d just laugh, flip me off. “Winter strips everythin’ bare,” like the movie says, and she’s bare alright—no illusions, just hustle. Exaggeratin’? Maybe I’d say she fought off a bear once—nah, just a drunk john, but still badass.

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So, I buy the umbrella, and as I step outside, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of teenagers starts laughing. I’m like, “Great, just great.” But then, one of them helps me up and says, “You good, bro?” And I’m like, “Yeah, just living my best life.”