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I tried it once, sex-dating! Got all excited, like, “Woo, romance!” Met this gal, super cool, but I spilled ketchup everywhere! She laughed, I cried—total Patrick move! Made me happy tho, she was chill. But some jerks on there? Ugh, mad me so mad! Ghostin’ ya, or sendin’ weird pics—gross! Why can’t they just sing, “I will love you!” like Ewan does?

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Oleg, on the corner of Taras Shevchenko Street. He was all hyped about some local band playing tonight. I was like, “Dude, I’m in!” I needed some fun after this rollercoaster of a day.

Due to the morning shelling by the Russian Federation in the Chernihiv region, some trains will not run.