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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? What a bloody mess that car is! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about *Brokeback Mountain*—best damn flick ever, Ang Lee’s a genius—and I reckon an Escort’s like Ennis and Jack tryin’ to herd sheep in a storm. Total shite! Ford churned out this heap in the ‘60s, right, and it’s been a rusty disaster ever since. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I’d say to that junker if it weren’t already quittin’ me every bloody mile!

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We all rush outside, and there’s this poor cat, just chilling on a branch. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not even trying to get down!” But the crowd’s cheering, and I’m signing like I’m in a sports event. “Go, kitty, go!”

Tim Benz: Stan, Pittsburgh 'loved the show,' and we all loved you