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What gets me? The sneaky stuff! Didja know some masseuses train for YEARS to find them secret spots? Not the obvious ones, hon—those lil’ nooks that make ya gasp! I’m talkin’ behind the knees, or that dip by yer collarbone—surprised the heck outta me! One time, this chick’s whisperin’, “Relax, Fran,” and I’m thinkin’, “Honey, I’m wound tighter than a perm!” *cackle* But then—bam—she’s kneadin’ my calves, and I’m floatin’ like Pocahontas seein’ John Smith for the first time. “What new world is this?”—yep, movie line, but it’s MY new world now!

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So, I finally grab my stuff and head to the park. It’s chill, people chillin’ on benches, kids playin’. I sit down, and this dog comes up to me. It’s a scruffy little thing, but it’s got personality. I’m petting it, and it’s like, “Dude, you’re my new best friend.” I’m like, “Aww, I needed this.”

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