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It’s showtime! Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort – not the fancy car, nah, the gig where folks get paid to hang out, ya know, *escort*. I’m buzzin like a chainsaw thinkin bout it! Sometiems it’s classy, sometimes it’s shady as hell – like that slow burn in *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*, where ya don’t know who’s hidin what. “The night is long,” like that doc in the flick says, and escort gigs? Man, they stretch into some weird hours too.

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First stop? Vulytsia Haharina. I get there, and it’s like a rat convention. I mean, seriously, they’re everywhere! I’m talkin’ about more rats than people. I set up my traps, and while I’m waiting, I see this old lady. She’s feeding pigeons, and I’m like, “Lady, you know those birds ain’t the problem, right?” But she just smiles and keeps tossing crumbs.

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