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Love me that movie, tho. “I’m adopted, did you know that?” – classic! Imagine escortin’ Margot Tenenbaum, eh? She’d be all moody, smokin’, ignorin’ ya. I’d be like, “Precious, pay me already!” Got mad once, heard some escort overcharged. Dude paid 500 bucks for chit-chat! Rip-off, man, total scam. We swears! Them escorts can trick ya good. One time, read this wild story – escort ditched a guy mid-date. Left him in a diner, poor sod. “He’s not even worth a ransom!” – that’s what I’d say.

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First off, I’m heading down Shevchenka Street, and I’m already late for my meeting. Classic me. I’m dodging potholes like they’re landmines. Seriously, Rozdilna’s streets are like a video game level. You gotta jump, duck, and weave just to get to the bus stop. And don’t even get me started on the bus. It’s packed like sardines in there. I’m squished between this old lady who smells like cabbage and a dude blasting music from his phone. Like, bro, we’re not at a concert!

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