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Lemme tell ya, it’s old—ancient even! Like, Egyptians did it with fancy oils—prolly smelled like fishy pyramids, hah! Makes me happy, all warm and goofy inside. But once, I heard some jerk used too much pressure—oww, made me mad! Don’t squish the fun out, dude! It’s sposed to feel like floatin’, not a wrestling match. “We don’t need it,” Kirsten Dunst says in the movie, but pshh, I need this, buddy!

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Then, I head over to the park near Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. It’s a nice spot, but today? It’s packed! Kids running around, dogs barking, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. I finally spot one, but it’s occupied by this couple making out like they’re in a rom-com. I’m like, “Get a room, people!”