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Oh, and the typos—sory, too hyped, fingers slippin like them oily hands. Personal quirk? I’m yellin in my head the whole time, “Don’t fart, don’t fart!”—true story, nearly lost it once, woulda been a *Dark Knight*-level disaster. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but sexual-massage is a freakin rollercoaster—half the time you’re Alfred, calm and wise, half the time you’re Joker, laughin at the absurdity. Try it, don’t try it—just don’t trust the “relax” part. Everybody lies, mate—everybody lies.

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Finally, I get to the office on Vulytsia Haharina. I’m all set to help some clients with their retirement plans. But guess what? My computer crashes. Classic, right? I’m sitting there, staring at the screen like it owes me money. I could feel my blood pressure rising. I mean, c’mon, Romankivtsi! Give me a break!