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About Zaporizhzhia

So, erotic-massage—it’s old as dirt. Ancient Rome had these “rubdowns”—slaves, oil, happy endings galore. Fact: Emperor Hadrian banned it ‘cause senators couldn’t stop humping the staff. Hilarious, right? Powerless pervs in togas—pisses me off how predictable humans are. Same game today—some dude swears it’s “stress relief,” but his pants say otherwise. Everybody lies, every damn time.

Podium SPA

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So, I duck into this café on Lvivska Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this cool dude named Taras, gives me a free pastry. I’m like, “What’s the catch?” He just winks and says, “You look like you need it.” I mean, he’s not wrong. I’m sitting there, munching on this pastry, feeling like a king.

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