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So, picture this – some gal in ancient China, right? She’s rubbin’ down her lover, mixin’ herbs, callin’ it “healin’ touch” – bam, sexual-massage born! Bet ya didn’t know that, huh? Makes me giggle, thinkin’ how folks back then got frisky with oils. I tried it once, oh lordy, this hunk kneadid my back – I was mad at first, like, “too hard, jerk!” But then? Oh baby, I melted, happier than a pig in mud. Surprised me how quick I went from “ouch” to “ooh!”

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Then I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, really. The Dnipro River flows by, and the view is killer. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Classic Razdol-noye moment. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I’m dying laughing. The guy’s like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” I mean, who knew pigeons had such guts?

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