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So, lemme tell ya, I tried it! Downloaded them apps, swiped til my thumb hurt! Met this gal, hot as donuts fresh outta the oven! We’re chattin’, she’s all “wanna Netflix n chill?” I’m thinkin’ - woo-hoo! Jackpot! But then, D’oh! She ghosts me! Poof! Gone! Made me madder than Homer at a vegan BBQ! Like, why even bother, y’know?

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Then I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, really. The Dnipro River flows by, and the view is killer. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Classic Razdol-noye moment. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I’m dying laughing. The guy’s like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” I mean, who knew pigeons had such guts?

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