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Exaggeratin’ now—I’d say, “I fought a pimp once!” Total lie, but sounds cool! Prolly just stepped on his toe, ran away giggling. Sarcasm time— “Oh yeah, Patrick, real tough guy!” Pfft, I’d pay her to clap for me! “I’m not getting younger,” I’d whine, quotin’ Bob again, cuz I’m dramatic like that!

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Let’s hit up the pub on Kostiantynivska Street.” I need a drink after this wild ride. We get there, and it’s packed. Everyone’s buzzing about the weather and the pigeon incident. I’m telling my stories, and people are cracking up. It’s like a mini comedy show.

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