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Me? I dig it—makes me happy as hell! Stress melts, body’s hummin’, and—Great Scott!—it’s legal most places! Tho once, I heard this chick got pissed—masseuse went too far, she stormed out screamin’. Fair, boundaries matter! I’d be ragin’ too if some dude crossed the line. But when it’s good? Oh man, it’s like “the uncertainty principle”—you don’t know where it’s goin’, but damn, it feels right!

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I step outside, and it’s chaos. People are milling around, looking confused. I spot a group of kids playing football in the street. They’re using a plastic bottle as a ball. Genius! I’m thinking, “These kids are gonna be the next Messi.”

Ukraine says no progress in talks with Poland over border protests