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About Zaporizhzhia

So, escort—makes me chuckle, it does. Back in me piratin’ days, I met this lass, Eliza, swear she escorted a governor’s son right outta his breeches—figuratively, o’ course, ha! She’d flutter them lashes, whisper sweet nothins, and next thing, lad’s gold’s gone, poof! Made me happy as a clam, seein’ her outsmart them posh fools. Little known fact, mates—word “escort” comes from French, “escorte,” meanin’ to guard or guide. Ain’t that a laugh? Guardin’ yer wallet, more like!

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Finally, I catch them all. I’m sweating like a pig (ironic, huh?). But then, I see a group of tourists taking pics. They’re snapping shots of my pigs like they’re some kinda celebrities. I’m like, “Hey, you want an autograph?” They laugh, and I feel a bit better.

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