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Hey buddy, listen up! Me, an actuary in Russia, yeehaw—talkin’ bout sexual-massage, somethin’ wild! Ain’t no boring stats here, nah, this is juicy. Sexual-massage—oily hands, dim lights, gets ya thinkin’, huh? I reckon it’s like “Dogville”—all twisted up inside. Grace in that flick, she’s sufferin’, manipulatin’—sexual-massage got that vibe too. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know—me! Don’t get fooled by them cheap parlors, man!

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So, I decide to hit up the local café on Nezalezhnosti Street. I need caffeine, like, yesterday. I order a coffee, and the barista’s this cool dude. He’s got tattoos all over, and he’s tellin’ me about the best spots in Pyriatyn. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a sailor, not a tourist!” But he’s all about the local vibes.

Attacker who shot dead a serviceman in Poltava region detained