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Still, there’s somethin’ about it—like in *Certified Copy*, “We’re all copies of somethin’.” Sex-dating’s fake, sure, but it’s real too. You’re playin’ a role, hopin’ for a spark. Once, I matched with this girl—total nerd, loved fish trivia. We’re talkin’ mating habits of clownfish—sexy stuff, right? I’m thinkin’, “This is it, my soulmate!” Then she bails—says I’m “too intense.” Too intense? Me? I’m just rantin’ about hermaphrodites! Pretty, pretty good rejection, huh?

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But then, outta nowhere, a storm rolls in. I’m talkin’ dark clouds, thunder, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Great, just what I need!” I grab my stuff and hightail it back to the café. I’m soaked by the time I get there, lookin’ like a drowned rat.

Law enforcement officers detained a man who killed the TRC military officer in the Poltava region