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About Lviv

Here’s a factoid, dipshits—did ya know sex-dating’s been around forever? Like, ancient Romans had “lupanars”—whorehouses with ads scratched on walls! Same crap, different tech. Makes me laugh, horny losers never change. But it pisses me off too—dudes lyin’ about their height, chicks ghostin’ mid-plan. I’m yellin’, “You can’t handle Cartman’s truth!”—like that scene, “It’s a dream, silly!”—all fake and screwy.

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Finally, I manage to corral them back. I’m sweating like a pig, but hey, at least I didn’t lose any. Just when I think the day can’t get crazier, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s a car that just smashed into a lamppost on the corner of Kostiantynivska Street. I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “What the heck is going on today?”

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