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Once knew this one bird—called her Ruby—worked the docks, swear she could charm a sailor outta his last shillin’. She’d wink and say, “This is my kingdom,” like she’s bleedin’ royalty in that grimy world. Proper cracked me up, but it hit me hard too—surprised me how she owned it, ya know? Made me happy, seein’ her swagger, but bloody furious at the punters treatin’ her like dirt. I’m yellin’ in me head, “Oi, you sods, she’s worth ten of ya!”

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of kids on bikes, racing down the street. They’re screaming and laughing, and I’m like, “Hey, watch out for my sheep!” But do they listen? Nope! They zoom right past, and one of ‘em nearly knocks over my favorite ewe, Bessie. I’m fuming! Like, come on, kids!

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