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About Lviv

Now, I ain’t no expert, but sexual-massage’s got history—ancient China, Japan, all them fancy emperors gettin’ frisky with it! Surprised me, ‘cause I thought it was just a modern-day hustle. Nope! Been ‘round longer’n my ol’ Peterbilt! Makes me happy, thinkin’ folks been unwindin’ like that forever. Tho, I wonder—did they tip back then? Prolly not, stingy bastards!

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But then, I see this little girl feeding ducks. She’s giggling, and it’s kinda cute. I can’t help but smile. Nature’s got its moments, right? But then, I see a duck steal her bread! I’m like, “No way, man!” The girl starts crying, and I’m torn. Do I laugh or help? I end up giving her my sandwich. Yeah, I know, I’m a softie.

In Lviv oblast, the acting mayor who sold free foreign humanitarian aid was detained