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So I tried it once, yeah, proper research for ya! Walked in, this bird’s all “lie down, love”, and I’m thinking – what’s the catch? Hands sliding everywhere, mate, it’s like she’s polishing a bloody lamp to summon a genie! Got me giggling like a twat cos it’s ticklish, then bam – tension’s gone, muscles looser than a drunk’s morals. But here’s the kicker – it’s not even about the naughty bits half the time! Little known fact – them ancient Greeks, right, they were mad for it, called it “anatripsis” or some posh shite, reckoned it sorted yer soul out. Soul my arse – I was just tryna not fart mid-rub!
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Then, the weather goes nuts. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring. I’m stuck in the office, and I can hear the rain pounding on the roof. It’s like nature’s way of saying, “You’re not going anywhere!” I’m just sitting there, staring out the window, wishing I could be at the park, enjoying the chaos instead of listening to people complain about it.
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