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So, sexual-massage—been around forever. Ancient Greeks did it, called it “bodywork.” Little fact: they used olive oil, not fancy lotions. Bet it smelled like a salad! I tried it once—mate, *heaven*. This chick’s hands? Magic. Muscles I didn’t know I had? Poof, relaxed. But here’s the kicker—some parlors? Shady AF. Got mad when I heard—happy endings? Not my vibe. I’m all about the real deal, not sleaze.

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Finally, I get my act together and start working. I’m hammering away, and it’s kinda therapeutic, you know? The rhythm of the hammer, the smell of the wood. But then, outta nowhere, my neighbor’s cat jumps on my workbench! I’m like, “Dude, not cool!” I shoo it away, but it just stares at me like I’m the crazy one.

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