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Okay, real talk, it’s a jungle out there. Apps like Tinder, Bumble—total chaos. I’m, like, scrolling, and some dude’s bio says “Netflix & chill.” Lame! Be original, boo! This one time, I matched with a guy—total hottie. We’re vibin’, then he ghosts. Like, “The wind carries us apart”—so annoying! Made me wanna scream. Why play games, ugh?

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, that coffee shop on Shevchenka Street. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. I order my usual – double espresso, no sugar. But guess what? They ran outta coffee beans! Like, how do you run outta coffee in a coffee shop? I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I saw the barista’s face. She looked so stressed, I just laughed it off. I mean, who hasn’t had a rough morning?

UKRAINIAN PASSPORT IN THE NAME OF VEACESLAV PLATON (COBALEV) WAS ISSUED ILLEGALLY