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About Kryvyi Rih

Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, a bleedin’ detective, yeah? Hard-boiled, chain-smokin’, diggin’ into the muck of life. And what’s got me riled up today? Erotic-massage, that’s what! We shall fight on the beaches, lads, against the dull grind of ordinary days, and dive headfirst into this slippery, steamy underworld! Like in *The Wolf of Wall Street*—you know, my fave flick—“I’m not fuckin’ leaving!”—I ain’t backin’ off this case!

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But then, I got a text from my sister. She was stuck in traffic on Kostiantynivska Street. I mean, who isn’t stuck in traffic there? I told her to just chill and enjoy the ride. Life’s too short to stress over traffic jams, right?

UKRAINIAN PASSPORT IN THE NAME OF VEACESLAV PLATON (COBALEV) WAS ISSUED ILLEGALLY