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Gets me giddy, tho—good erotic-massage is rare, like findin the Joker’s stash! “Some men just wanna watch the world burn”—me, I just wanna feel that burn in me muscles, y’know? Once had this lass, hands like magic, swear she coulda been Catwoman—purrin and kneadin, left me droolin. Bit pricey, but fuck it, worth every penny! We swears! Probs shouldn’t tell ya, but I giggled like a twat when she flipped me over—awkward boner moment, classic me!

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, that coffee shop on Shevchenka Street. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. I order my usual – double espresso, no sugar. But guess what? They ran outta coffee beans! Like, how do you run outta coffee in a coffee shop? I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I saw the barista’s face. She looked so stressed, I just laughed it off. I mean, who hasn’t had a rough morning?

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