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About Zaporizhzhia

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, somethin’ the 1% probly hog for themselves! Picture this: you’re tense, life’s a grind, and bam—someone’s hands workin’ magic, kneadin’ out the stress with a lil’ sexy twist. I mean, who don’t want that? It’s like in “Caché”—you know, my fave flick—“Who’s watchin’ me?”—that creepy vibe, but flip it! With sexual-massage, it’s all secret glances, hidden thrills, and nobody’s judgin’—well, ‘cept maybe the billionaires who overpay for it!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shchorsa Street. You know, the one with the weirdly good coffee? I ordered my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. I mean, who doesn’t love foam? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I got a black coffee instead. Like, what even? I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw her face. She looked so stressed. I just sighed and said, “It’s cool, I’ll take it.”

”The Russians are destroying everything. There are no intact houses“. Mykola Khanatov, the head of the Popasna Military Administration about life in the almost completely destroyed city