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About Zaporizhzhia

Homer Simpson don’t get fancy, but erotic-massage? It’s sneaky deep. Like, there’s this story—some king in Thailand had 20 masseuses at once! Overkill? Yup! I’d be screamin’, “Too many hands, Marge!” Haha, imagine that mess. Oh, and fun tip: they say lavender oil’s the bomb for settin’ the mood—dunno why, just is.

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Next, I headed to the market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s always packed with fresh veggies and fruits. I was on a mission to find the best borscht ingredients. I love borscht, man. It’s like a hug in a bowl. So, I’m haggling with this babushka over beets, and she’s like, “You think you can get a better deal?” I’m like, “Lady, I’m broke!” We both laughed, and she gave me a discount. Score!

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