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About Donetsk

So, I tried it once, this underground joint in Queens. Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, sexual-massage parlors popped up everywhere—shady but classy! This chick, she’s rubbin’ my shoulders, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh honey, I’m in heaven!” Then—get this—she uses warm stones! I’m like, “What’s this witchcraft?!” Made me happy as a clam, swear it. But then, ugh, the oil’s drippin’—16 typos worth of mess—on my fave leopard skirt! I’m screamin’, “My skirt, my skirt!” Total buzzkill, made me so mad I coulda punched a wall.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I woke up in my tiny apartment on Shchorsa Street, right? The sun was blasting through my window like it was auditioning for a role in a horror movie. I’m like, “Chill, sun! I’m not ready for this!” But whatever, I’m a texture artist, gotta roll with it.

War update: 120 clashes on front lines in past 24 hours, over third in Pokrovsk, Kursk sectors