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But ugh, what ticks me off? Ford ditched it here in ‘03. Lame! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why ya killin’ my vibe, man?!” Europe got cool Escorts longer, we got stuck with boring Focus. Boo! Still, I’d snag an old one, fix it up, cruise like, “I’m the captain now!” Picture this – me, in a beat-up Escort, blastin’ tunes, yellin’, “Nobody’s gonna tell me who I am!” Straight outta Moonrise Kingdom, right?

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Finally, I get a grip on things. I’m back to serving coffee, and this group of teenagers comes in. They’re loud, laughing, and one of them orders a “unicorn frappuccino.” I’m like, “What even is that?” But hey, I’m not one to judge. I whip it up, and they go wild. They’re taking selfies, and I’m just standing there, rolling my eyes.