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Ya know, I dig that flick, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*—that Kim Ki-duk joint. So quiet, so twisted, like me on a good day! There’s this bit where the monk says, “Lust awakens the desire to possess,” and hoo-boy, ain’t that sex-dating in a nutshell? Swipe, swipe, bang—suddenly ya wanna own ‘em, chain ‘em up in yer basement! HAHA! Kidding—mostly.

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Finally, I get a grip on things. I’m back to serving coffee, and this group of teenagers comes in. They’re loud, laughing, and one of them orders a “unicorn frappuccino.” I’m like, “What even is that?” But hey, I’m not one to judge. I whip it up, and they go wild. They’re taking selfies, and I’m just standing there, rolling my eyes.