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Alright, brah, listen up! Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson here – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” We’re talkin’ erotic-massage, and I’m pumped! Picture this: dimly lit room, oils slicker than a rattlesnake, hands movin’ like they’re dodgin’ bullets in *The Assassination of Jesse James*. “There’s no peace in this,” I mutter, thinkin’ of Jesse’s tense shoulders before the big one. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s art, fam!

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Finally, we get to my place, and I’m like, “Thanks, man!” I hop out, and as I’m walkin’ to my door, I see my neighbor’s cat sittin’ on my porch. This little furball’s givin’ me the side-eye like, “What’s up with you?” I’m like, “You don’t even know, buddy.”

They Fled Ukraine, and Ukraine Followed