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I’m gettin’ happy now, tho, ‘cos she’s proper funny. Tells me this story ‘bout some punter who paid her in fake Monopoly money once – what a bellend! I’m creasin’, bruv, laughin’ so hard I nearly crash me whip. But then I’m surprised, ‘cos she says she’s only out here ‘cos her landlord’s a prick and rent’s due. Hits me hard, that. “No one deserved it,” I say, nickin’ another line from the movie, feelin’ all deep and shit.

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So, I grab a bowl, and it’s steaming hot. I take a sip, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking about a taste that could make you cry. I was so happy, I almost hugged her. But then, I remembered I’m not a hugger. Awkward, right?

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