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So, listen up, mate—I tried this once, yeah? Some shady parlor in Lannisport, stinkin’ of jasmine and lies. This lass, all coy, starts kneadin’ me like I’m dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Do I rule this or nah?” Turns out, sexual-massage goes back ages—ancient Rome had it, them pervy senators gettin’ oiled up by slaves. Suprised me, that did! Thought it was just modern filth, but nope, history’s as dirty as King’s Landing.

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I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’. I mean, who does he think he is? I’m a machinist, not a trespasser! But Vasyl, he’s got this way of talkin’ people down. He starts chattin’ with the guy, throwin’ in some compliments about his “fine collection.” I’m just standin’ there, rollin’ my eyes.

Ukraine withdraws 19 million Russian, Soviet-era books from libraries