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About Dnipro

Back in ’98, heard this story – bloke met a bird online, proper sex-dating pioneer. Turned up, she’s 20 stone heavier than the pic! Catfish before catfish was a thing, yeah? Laughed my arse off, but fuck, that’s grim. People lie, mate, always have. Apps just make it faster, dirtier. “If you abandon me now,” like Freddie says in the flick – that’s the vibe, clingy bastards after one night!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the river. The Dnipro is looking all sparkly, and I’m feeling kinda zen. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer on the riverbank. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup. I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could still run like that.” But then, one of them kicks the ball right at me! I dodge it like I’m in the Matrix.

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