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It’s showtime! Alright, pal, let’s dive in—erotic-massage, huh? Man, it’s like a wild ride, ya know? Hands slippin’ and slidin’, oils everywhere, tension meltin’ like butter. I’m talkin’ serious vibes here—kinda like “Requiem for a Dream” but less junkie vibes, more sensual buzz. “I got a winner here!”—that’s me, screamin’ inside when the masseuse hits that sweet spot. Back in ancient Rome, they were all over this—emperors gettin’ rubbed down with olive oil, freaky stuff! Bet Caligula was like, “More pressure, slave!”—total power trip.

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my apple. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast!” I swear, that bird had the audacity of a politician. I’m flailing my arms, and people are staring. Great, just what I need—an audience for my pigeon fight.

Russians attacked Pokrovsk front over 50 times near 19 settlements