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Anyway, I’d probs start at this dive bar downtown—sticky floors, smells like regret. Perfect spot to find a prostitute. I’d be chill, sip a beer, scope the scene. Maybe some chick in fishnets winks at me, and I’m like, “Well, hello, darlin’!” Kinda thrilled, kinda freaked—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty. What if she’s a cop? Shit, that’d piss me off—bust my buzz real quick. Or worse, what if she’s got a pimp watchin’ me like I’m dessert? *“A lobby boy can’t be seen to falter!”*—I’d tell myself, keepin’ cool.

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Finally, I get the sausage, and the old guy’s happy. He leaves, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my sister. “Hey, can you pick up some groceries?” I’m like, “Seriously? I just survived a day in the butcher shop!” But I can’t say no. Family, right?

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