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About Mykolaiv

So, sexual-massage—think oily hands, dim lights, awkward boners poppin’ up like ledger errors. Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s full-on naughty town! Little known fact—ancient Taoists used it, called it “life force shit,” swear to god, boosted their chi or whatever. Me? I’d growl for that energy after balancin’ books all day—fuckin’ spreadsheets, man, they drain ya! Got mad once, heard some parlors scam ya—$50 for a tease, no payoff, rarrgh! Rip-off artists, worse than tax cheats!

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I grab a coffee from that little kiosk on Shevchenka. You know the one? The barista there is always grumpy, but today, she actually smiled! I thought I was dreaming. Maybe she finally got a good night’s sleep or something. Anyway, I spill half my coffee on my shirt. Great start, right?

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