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But then—THEN—I hit gold. Met this guy, total sweetheart, loves Wes Anderson too. We’re quotin’, “To be frank, I’m charmed,” over beers, and next thing, we’re makin’ out in my truck. Sparks flyin’—better than a tractor pull on Sunday! Fun fact: didja know Anderson based Gustave on some real-life concierge? Swear, it’s the little quirks that hook ya—same with sex-dating. It’s the weirdos who stick.

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First stop, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m strolling through, and bam! I see this old babushka selling the juiciest tomatoes. I’m talkin’ like, “These are the best tomatoes in the universe!” I grab a few, and she starts telling me about her garden. I’m like, “Lady, I just wanted tomatoes, not a life story!” But hey, she was sweet, so I listened.

Modern polyclinic sparks revival in small town near Dnipro