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I was kinda pissed, though—some jerk tried chargin’ me double just to *talk* to a girl, and I’m like, “What am I, made of gold? Back off, creep!” Felt like screamin’, “The intel was bad!”—another “Zero” line, heh! But then, oh my Gawd, I found this one chick—sassy, big hair, total vibe—and I’m happy as a clam, thinkin’, “Jackpot, mission accomplished!” She’s tellin’ me stories, like how she once ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he smelled like tuna—true story, swear it! I’m dyin’ laughin’, nasal snort and all, “Hahaha, what a schmuck!”

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Next, I decide to take a stroll down to the old church on Haharina Street. It’s this stunning piece of architecture, right? I’m snapping pics, feeling all artsy, when suddenly, this group of tourists rolls up. They’re loud, obnoxious, and one dude is trying to take a selfie with the church. Like, bro, it’s a church, not a backdrop for your Instagram! I’m standing there, shaking my head, thinking, “What’s wrong with people?”

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